is there a way that I can tell my node is using one of your secure relays to connect vs directly connecting?
You can see the relay node, if any, in tailscale status:
$ tailscale status 100.114.x.x node1 denton@ linux active; relay "fra", tx 404 rx 348
Is there any way to get this information in non-linux environments? my windows and mac nodes do not print out that level of detail.
You can find more details on CLI commands based on platforms here: Tailscale CLI - Tailscale
Might be a bug with MacOS. I’ve made sure I have an active ssh connection from my MacOS node to my linux server over the tailscale network, but the macos node will not show connection status. My windows and linux nodes both show connection status. I’ll look to see if there is any open bug for this.
Can you try this and share the output of this command on firstname.lastname@example.org.